Stolen straight from ESPN in Bristol, CT and the ever beloved cast of College Gameday Final, it's time for week 1 of the Helmet Stickers (3 per week). It was a crazy weekend in college football, just ask the ACC who was absolutely dreadful. I haven't seen a performance that bad since the last time I saw Halle Berry try to act. You gotta love Hollywood, pay for a nice set of breasts and you're all of a sudden a good actress. Baring all in one movie (for half a million $$) and a wild sex scene in another doesn't hurt her cause either, but I digress. I am really impressed at how this blogspot kept my writing up even after the power went out and I had not yet saved it. Anyhow, onto the stickers, game balls and then random thoughts.
1. This one goes out to all the little guys who fought the good fight against those evil-doers from the larger conferences. Some teams go to Gainesville (Hawaii) or Reno (Grambling) just for a paycheck, while others go to win football games. Delaware and McNeese State fought really hard against Maryland and UNC, two schools with affiliations to that horrifyingly bad ACC. Oh, and for anyone wondering, McNeese and Delaware have strong football traditions, so keeping things close shouldn't have been too much of a shock. Western Illinois also came close against Arkansas, but you know the Leathernecks fans were cursing the opposing QB going, "Man, what a dick," referring to Casey Dick, the Arkansas QB who threw for 318 yards and scored the winning run on a TD. We also have We also have UC Davis, who came so close against San Jose St, but alas, fell 13-10 in the end. Sad, but I believe Rolf Benirschke, former SD Chargers kicker and short-lived host of the syndicated Wheel of Fortune, would be quite proud. What do Chuck Liddell, John Madden and baseball HOFer Ozzie Smith have in common? They should all be celebrating their alma mater's victory over the hopelessly pathetic San Diego State Aztecs. Oh, Marshall Faulk, Darnay Scott and even Dan McGwire (brother of Mark), where have you gone. I'm handing out dual Player of the Game awards to Ramses Braden, who had 7 receptions for 161 yards and a TD, and to K Andrew Gardner, who kicked 2 FGs, one as time expired, to win the game. But, our #1 team has to be Arkansas State, who not only broke in a new school nickname, but Texas A&M's behymen in their 18-14 win in College Station. Aggies you're a disgrace, I don't care if you've beaten the Longhorns a few years in a row, your football program is still a joke.
2. Ok the second sticker goes out to schools that have figured out the most important position in college football, and football in general; QB. When did Vanderbilt have their best year in the last 20? When Jay Cutler was at the helm. Well, now Illinois, who had a massive turnaround with Juice Williams, and Kellen Lewis, a souped up version of Antwaan Randle El (former Hoosier), finally took IU to a bowl game as well. Nate Davis' passing proficiency (and great supporting cast) has turned around Ball State, while Adam DiMichele appears to be doing the same at Temple. Even Chase Clement got Rice to a long awaited bowl game 2 years. Rice!!!!! The team that never wins, even with Trevor Cobb and will-'o-the-wisp QB Bert Emanuel in the 90s. Anyhow, if you want to win, in any major conference, find a good dual-purpose QB. Hell, Seneca Wallace took Iowa State to a bowl game and forced Dan McCarney to abandon his outdated I-option scheme with mediocre talent. Austen Arnaud I believe will do the same before his career is over. Other young studs to watch at this position; Riley Skinner at Wake Forest, who's so much like Jay Barker was at Alabama during his run in the early-to-mid 90s. Both QBs relied on a solid ground game, hard-hitting defense and timely bombs to a dual-purpose FL (David Palmer at 'Bama and Kenny Moore for WF last year). Also, we have TJ Yates, who's just a sophomore at UNC, Donovan Porterie, a talented Jr. at New Mexico, Shea Smith at Air Force, who will run that option to near perfection, Jarod Bryant at Navy (ditto), Andy Schmitt at Eastern Michigan, Kinsmon Lancaster at Louisiana-Monroe, and Michael Desormeaux at Louisiana-Lafayette.
3. Heisman candidates who showed up, even if it were against almost minor league opposition. Stephen McGee, I hope your listening, this is why you'll never be a decent QB. Playing with heart and guts against UT once a year doesn't mean you're good or great. Any crackhead or druggie can stay focused and get enough money to keep his drug habit going, you know what I'm saying? Even losers can find a way to get motivated once in awhile. Anyways, Knowshon Moreno, Beanie Wells (I hope he's ok), Graham Harrell, Michael Crabtree to a small extent, Sam Bradford, Pat White, Tim Tebow, Chase Daniel (who is horribly overrated, just a gimmicky offense), and Matthew Stafford all did well against far inferior opposition. I know I threw Daniel in there, but Illinois didn't have much of a chance of winning that game, not while the officials were fixing it. You had 2 stoppages of play in the first half for no reason that bailed Mizzou out of penalties that would have ended drives or cost them a shot at scoring. Did David Stern all of a sudden take charge of NCAA football. Oh yeah, I forgot PJ Hill, he had a marvelous game against Akron as well.
Ok, game balls go out to my satellite provider, who gave me, hmm, let's see here, 10 games all at the same time (the 11 AM-2:30 PM time frame, prime football viewing; you're not quite stuffed from lunch or snacks, if you like to drink you're not drunk, beautiful stuff). The Big 10 Network had 4 alternate channels going, I mean, how can you pass up an opportunity to see Iowa QB Jake Christensen look horribly average against a Maine Black Bears defense? By the way, I swear he will get a tryout in the NFL because he's white, slow, and therefore a pocket passer. Kellen Lewis and Juice Williams meanwhile will probably be converted into WRs or RBs and KRs. So unfair, damn you racists, work on the kid's accuracy, don't just look at the color of his skin and how fast he is and go, "Oh, you're a QB. Damn son, if you grew up right you'd know blacks don't play QB." Tell that to McNair, McNabb, Culpepper for his great season, Doug Williams and countless others. Also, I love ESPN's coverage, they're always amazing, but CBS please, give up the tennis coverage, we need SEC football on in the afternoon, even if it's Vandy at Ole Miss or some crappy game. I need more football dammit. Anyways, enjoy week 2, take care everyone.
Jon
3. Heisman candidates who showed up, even if it were against almost minor league opposition. Stephen McGee, I hope your listening, this is why you'll never be a decent QB. Playing with heart and guts against UT once a year doesn't mean you're good or great. Any crackhead or druggie can stay focused and get enough money to keep his drug habit going, you know what I'm saying? Even losers can find a way to get motivated once in awhile. Anyways, Knowshon Moreno, Beanie Wells (I hope he's ok), Graham Harrell, Michael Crabtree to a small extent, Sam Bradford, Pat White, Tim Tebow, Chase Daniel (who is horribly overrated, just a gimmicky offense), and Matthew Stafford all did well against far inferior opposition. I know I threw Daniel in there, but Illinois didn't have much of a chance of winning that game, not while the officials were fixing it. You had 2 stoppages of play in the first half for no reason that bailed Mizzou out of penalties that would have ended drives or cost them a shot at scoring. Did David Stern all of a sudden take charge of NCAA football. Oh yeah, I forgot PJ Hill, he had a marvelous game against Akron as well.
Ok, game balls go out to my satellite provider, who gave me, hmm, let's see here, 10 games all at the same time (the 11 AM-2:30 PM time frame, prime football viewing; you're not quite stuffed from lunch or snacks, if you like to drink you're not drunk, beautiful stuff). The Big 10 Network had 4 alternate channels going, I mean, how can you pass up an opportunity to see Iowa QB Jake Christensen look horribly average against a Maine Black Bears defense? By the way, I swear he will get a tryout in the NFL because he's white, slow, and therefore a pocket passer. Kellen Lewis and Juice Williams meanwhile will probably be converted into WRs or RBs and KRs. So unfair, damn you racists, work on the kid's accuracy, don't just look at the color of his skin and how fast he is and go, "Oh, you're a QB. Damn son, if you grew up right you'd know blacks don't play QB." Tell that to McNair, McNabb, Culpepper for his great season, Doug Williams and countless others. Also, I love ESPN's coverage, they're always amazing, but CBS please, give up the tennis coverage, we need SEC football on in the afternoon, even if it's Vandy at Ole Miss or some crappy game. I need more football dammit. Anyways, enjoy week 2, take care everyone.
Jon
